Getting Back to Writing

It has been a long time since I blogged, or wrote much of anything, and it is time for that to change.  I've relayed stories over Facebook for some time, so I'll be copying them here, with the original release dates over the next few days. If you 'subscribe' to this blog, get ready for a bunch of notifications.
But I am hilarious, so you really shouldn't mind.

Happy Anniversary

Twenty-four years ago today, I married my best friend. 
No words, no gift, no card can express the love and the loss, the happiness and the tears, the better and the worse, the sickness and the health.
Here's to the dad who cleans, shops, cooks, and raised our children all while moving three times for my job and driving me to the airport at 4:30am. Now he's still actively Dadding three dogs, three cats, our not-too-long-distance daughter, our grown-but-home son, and our granddaughter.
Here's to the husband who never comes home without calling to see if I need something (Saturday I NEEDED chocolate cake), who surprises me with puzzle books and all the Bumbles he can find, who takes me on driving "adventures" to get me out of the house on the weekends, who goes on beach vacations even though he's bored and hates sand, who understands migraines, chiari malformations, chronic daily headaches, anxiety, bipolar disorder and escalatoraphobia, and who waits in the car during my numerous "Pull over! I gotta go to the bathroom!" stops.
Here's to the man who lives his dreams. He's been in the press box during an NFL game, wrote articles for ESPN, wrote two books (available on Amazon, with two more soon to be published), received a Doctorate in Biblical Preaching (that's Dr and Mrs Edwards on the Christmas cards, people), pastored numerous churches and counseled hundreds of people, created a local community theater group, wrote and produced numerous plays (raising money for charity and giving regular people a chance to participate in the theatre), and now is the PA Announcer for the Evansville Jr Bolts hockey team.
There's so much more. He can't pass a fireman's boot or bell ringer without giving up his change. He tips the servers at Sonic. He will hold a door open for thirty-seven people. He always takes a cart from the parking lot into the store. He lets the lady with five things in front of him in line when he has ten.
And you probably didn't know half of this because everything he does for everyone else, he does because he wants to. He needs to. Not for the accolades. Not for the recognition. Just because that's who he is.
And that is why I can't think of the words that explain how I feel about him. That little jump in my heart when he kisses me at the airport or when he yells "hooooooney" when he gets back from the store.
I love him.
Just because of who he is.

Confederate Flag Hysteria

I don't get it. For hundreds of years, the Confederate flag has flown over state houses and hung in the back of pickup truck windows. Suddenly, a mentally ill person posts photos of himself with the flag and public people and companies are shunning it. Why did it take a tragedy? Well, you know, beyond the whole slavery thing. 

Relevant news story: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/06/24/us/south-carolina-nikki-haley-confederate-flag.html?referrer=

I'm not saying the flag is good or bad. Is it appropriate as a state symbol? I'm going to say no. Can Civil War re-enactments display it? Sure. Should it be used as a drape for a coffin? (Yes, it happened. I couldn't make that up.) NO. 

People are now saying roads should be renamed. Statues of historical figures removed. Where does it end? We can't erase that part of America's history. It was a different time, and one we shouldn't forget. Maybe even one we should learn more about. You might start here: http://www.history.com/news/5-things-you-may-not-know-about-lincoln-slavery-and-emancipation. People can change their beliefs more than once in their lifetimes. Maybe a lot of people still need to. 

But here's the thing, I think the people who are going to cry out about Walmart removing the flag from its stores won't be the Civil War enthusiasts; it will be the rednecks who see it as an anti-African American or "Southern" symbol. The good ol' boys who claim Uncle Sam will pry their shotguns from their cold, dead hands. The people that have beliefs, ingrained for generations, that won't change whether they can buy a flag at Walmart or not. The people who prefer to think of themselves as better than others. The people who hate. 

The recent news stories of Caitlyn Jenner spurred a flurry of comments and memes on social media. Sadly, many of them did not show acceptance or love for a fellow human. "God doesn't make mistakes!" one poster insisted. I think the mothers of stillborn babies would like to have a word with you about how life works. Science is far from understanding how the human body works, much less the brain. How do we know things aren't working for Caitlyn exactly as planned? 

At my work, I meet people from all over the world. As part of my introduction, I explain I live in a town named Boonville. It gets a laugh. Really, Boonville. But one day, a Asian man stopped me to chat and said he had been to Boonville. My Boonville. I was speechless. It was in his college days, and he worked for a book company. The company dumped a pair of students in a town, and they went door-to-door selling books. The man smiled as he recalled the number of shotguns he encountered that day. Even more the number of ignorant people making racist remarks to his companion about him because they assumed he didn't speak English. I was mortified. He, unbelievably -and sadly- was unfazed. 

No, those people aren't going to change, and I'm certain this isn't the only small town with this problem. When will we learn that all of us are created equal? When will humans see each other as brothers? Do we really think destroying Confederate symbols will make the U.S. a better place? 

I think that isn't even a step toward where we need to be. I can only hope that the children raised in these small towns have exposure to more open thinking - that they see blacks, Asians, Muslims, Jews, gays, and transgender people as humans. Just like them. Just. Like. Them. Because that's the only thing that's going to fix the problem of hate. 

Ten Things Your Mom Never Told You

This meme(?) made its way around Facebook this week and I couldn't help but want to slightly change the wording here. 

My kids are 21 and 16, so I feel like I've got some great in(hind)sight to give you. 

Ten Things Your Mom Was Really Thinking 

(with apologies to HuffPost) 

(and my kids) 

1. You made her cry ... a lot. But mostly you gave her great fodder for Facebook. And blogs. And tweets.

2. She wanted that last piece of pie. So she waited for you to go to bed, then she ate it. There was ice cream too. 

3. It hurt. Especially without an epidural.  She never forgot that. 

4. She was always afraid. Of you entering a room without knocking. And that you'd find the ice cream. 

5. She knows she's not perfect. But she'll never stop correcting your grammar. 

6. She watched you as you slept. And she could tell when you were hiding your phone and faking it. 

7. She carried you a lot longer than nine months. Until she forced you to go to college and get your own damn place. 

8. It broke her heart every time you cried. Except that time you broke the living room ottoman with a body slam. You deserved those bruises. 

9. She put you first. On the list of why she drinks. 

10. She would do it all again. As long as there's ice cream. 

Well, here we are again, in April

It has been the weirdest week on record, full of sadness, horror, fright.
Y'all know (even though I haven't blogged in months) that the month of April isn't my favorite. Bad things happen. And as if to prove my point, here was the week
Sunday - I had to fly to OKC a day early. I've been going there since mid-December, but this is one of the few times I've had to go on a Sunday. Besides last week.
Monday - The Boston Marathon bombings. I got the alert on my phone but didn't realize the magnitude of the event until I watched the news that night.
Tuesday - earthquakes. In OKC. I slept right through them.
Wednesday - OKC weather is seriously worse than Indiana. In the 70s earlier in the week, but Wednesday we had severe thunderstorms, a tornado warning and the temperature dropped to the 40s. We left work early (at 5:30) to get to the hotel before the really bad weather but were stopped by police. The street was on lockdown because of a 'suspicious item.'
Thursday - what has come to be known as Flyday. Yay. Except I didn't get upgraded to first class (yeah, yeah, #firstworldproblem, I know) but our plane was struck by lightning. Scary. Then, due to weather, I was three hours late. Home at 11pm. In time for...
Friday - a 7am conference call. Hey, at least it wasn't as bad as last week when my flight through Atlanta didn't get me home till 3am Friday.

And speaking of, "at least it wasn't as bad as...."

I'm proud to be an American, but for crying out loud, we are a spoiled, selfish crew.

Working on Sunday? At least I'm not in the fields working for food instead of pay. At least I have the right to worship as I choose.
Bombings? That is a way of life for some parts of the world. And they don't always have a government or law enforcement to protect them, or find the perpetrators.
Earthquakes? It didn't even wake me up. Remember Mexico City? The tsunami on the day after Christmas?
Bad weather? A little lightning was actually a beautiful show. Many have been devastated by floods and tornadoes.

So yeah, I hate April, and sometimes I get caught up in me and how bad things happen. But it is more sad to me that there is such a hashtag for #firstworldproblems when parts of the third world don't have clean water. My last rant -- errr, post -- was after the Sandy Hook shooting. I said we all need to do something.

I wonder if anyone has.
Have I?

My thoughts on Newtown

It just doesn't seem real.
Twenty first graders dead. Shot multiple times.Educators giving their lives to protect their students.
In less than 10 minutes, hundreds if not thousands of lives were changed.

But it is real. It isn't going to fall out of our collective consciousness, ever. Just like Aurora, Virginia Tech, Columbine, Kent State.

And everyone wants to know why. "Why? Why? 26 dead in school shooting" was a crawl on CNN. Does it matter why? Will that help us stop it from happening again? I don't think so. We haven't been able to stop it yet.

What do we need? Fortified schools? Gun control? Better mental health care? God?

Here's what I think. I think we need a true change in the human spirit. All of the people who have reached out to those affected by this tragedy, prayed for the families ... would they do the same to a homeless person in their town? a family who needs help with Christmas dinner? that weird kid with no friends walking down the street? Would they do it if they didn't get recognized for it?

Posting on Facebook doesn't make you a good person and it sure as heck doesn't help anyone. Why don't we all...ALL... stop looking at Newtown and start looking at ourselves? Newtown needs help, but they will make it through. Watching CNN and posting on Facebook makes YOU feel good. Not them.

Don't get me wrong. I've prayed for those families. I stayed glued to CNN for hours. I'm not claiming to be perfect. But I think I have some insight. At least something that might make a few of you think, for a moment.

Lots of people have said this tragedy has helped them to remember their blessings, has made them hug their own children tighter at night. Why do we need a tragedy for that to happen? Why can't we wake up every morning with a loving heart and a will to do good toward others? Why do we need Christmas to have a spirit of giving? Why aren't we thankful every second of every day for the things we have?

Why did this happen? Because our hearts and minds are not in a constant state of love for our fellow man. Because someone didn't help a hurting human soul. Could someone have stopped the shooter? I don't know. I don't play the "what if" game. But I know this world will not get any better until WE get better at loving each other.

And we had better start now.

Some Observations from the Day

1. If it rains during rush hour in DC, don't even THINK about getting a cab.2. Walking to work in flats does not guarantee you won't trip over the curb.
3. If it was any more humid, I'd be underwater.
4. Humidity destroys what the flatiron accomplishes.
5. Apparently MY coworkers are not yet comfortable enough with me to advise me when my hair looks like Bugs Bunny's friend Witch Hazel.
6. Waiting until 3pm to take a bio break is not good for the bladder or for your personal appearance.
7. If you are in room 832 at the Westin, I'm not psycho. I'm just on the wrong floor. And I'm having a bad hair day.
8. Always check which way the shower head is pointing BEFORE you turn on the water, especially when a marble floor is involved.
9. Marble floors are extremely slippery when wet.
10. Open the plastic wrapper on the soap BEFORE you get in the shower and your hands are wet. Because plastic-wrapped soap is also extremely slippery when wet.
11. A bottle of soda water you carried home in your computer bag will still have enough carbonation to explode all over the bed, even if you don't open it for an hour.
12. Soda water all over your clothes and bed does not require a stain remover (like soda water).

and, this just in,

Even fancy hotels like the Westin have giant bugs crawling across the dresser. GAAAAAH!!

I've Missed This

I've been missing my blog. I read a few old posts and hey, I think they are pretty good. So let's see if I can dig up some deep, pithy thoughts....

At lunchtime on the second day...

This phrase has been running through my head for a week. I knew it was a poem.
Turns out it is a part of the book Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, which I owned as a child, and clearly memorized.

If it rings a bell with you, go re-read it. It is a hoot.

I've been there!

I say that all the time when Mike and I are watching TV or a movie. It's just cool. Or I'm just a dork. Anyway....

We went to the library Friday night (yeah, we're big partiers) and I picked up a couple of books for the road. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown was on the shelf ... well, it was on the large print shelf. I got it and tonight I finished it. Note, large print books do not italicize the text, they bold it. It took some getting used to.

Now I love to read books or watch TV shows or movies that are set in places I've been. Since there is NEVER going to be anything set in Boonville, I have to settle for places like Ney York and DC. One of my favorite shows is NCIS, which is of course set in DC. I just think it's too cool when Abby says "I've triangulated his position to somewhere in Annandale!" I liked that last Die Hard movie and one of my favorite book series is the Alex Cross novels by James Patterson.

So I thought it was pretty cool reading The Lost Symbol on my way to DC, but maybe 2/3 of the way through the book, they mentioned a "prestigious office building with twin spires" and I thought HEY, wait a minute. In a few more sentences, they said it, "The street address was 1301 K Street." Holy crap! That is our DC office building! Having walked that block at least 100 times, I instantly *knew* which building was sure to be referenced next, and it was!

So besides my weird obsession with places I've been, I thought the book was good. I liked that "the girl" wasn't with our professor for the entire book, and they were having separate perceptions of the same happenings. The plot seemed a little slower than his other books, but it kept me engaged. It isn't something I'd buy and read again (like The DaVinci Code. Pam got me the illustrated version and I love it.), but it was a nice plane read.

Haitian Relief Efforts

I just received an email from the Firm leadership that they are donating $300,000 to Haitian disaster relief. The partners donated an additional $100,000. If each of our employees donated only $5, we'd surpass a half-million dollar donation. They made it easy for us to do an automatic deduction from our paychecks.

There are many other ways you can contribute. Another easy way is to text "HAITI" to 90999 on your cell phone. 100% of your $10 donation will go toward the American Red Cross efforts in Haiti and be billed to you on your next cell phone bill.

Please carefully research any other organizations. Snopes.com is a good place to start.

I saw on the news yesterday that a five year old boy was rescued after seven and a half days in the rubble. If you can't give monetarily, please give your time to pray for those who are lost, injured or mourning loved ones.

Dinner and a Movie

Went to see the new Johnny Depp movie. I wasn't impressed.
Had Thai food. Definitely impressed.

Welcome to Summer

We have been ding-dong ditched twice and now the trash cans are missing.
Zak is running around the neighborhood at midnight trying to ID the hoodlums and I'm driving around in jammies trying to find him.
Welcome to summer.

I've switched to the backfloat

I feel like the past few weeks, I've only been able to keep my head above water. Around Thursday or so, I switched to the backfloat, and I'll tell you, I had a much better weekend. I still had work to do. I still had chores (actually, more with Mike out of town). But it almost felt like there was an extra day to the weekend in there somewhere.

So it is Sunday afternoon and I'm rested, caught up, and just waiting for the boys to get home from Michigan. It should be a quiet night before the work week starts. I'm only working three days before vacation starts, so I need to pack for me, and the kids, plan the trip, etc. Hopefully I can get things on track at work so I can completely forget things for a week.

Our cabin is supposed to have wireless internet, so I hope to stay in touch during the week next week. But I might be having too much fun to get on the computer.

Just Keep Swimming

7 days till spring break. I'm almost to the point where I'm counting hours.
Mike's out of town at his uncle's funeral, but not before he lost his wallet, including credit cards + $200 cash.
Work is insanely crazy. Too much stuff, not enough staff.
Aly smashed her finger at school yesterday. Yesterday, which was my nephew's first birthday way the heck back in Indiana.
I colored my hair and it turned red. Colorful, says Mike. That is code for ugly.

I'm going to just keep swimming.

Oh, and by the way, I speak whale.

Why I Blog

Thank you to Perri for the blog award. This little award she sent my way said, “These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement . Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award!”

I'm passing this award to Lisa, Shawna and Jamie. All are friends that I have a lot in common with (ok, so Jamie and I share parents), but these chicks are really cool and tell it like it is on their blogs. All three of them are also amazing scrapbookers, and I regularly copy their work shamelessly into my own layouts.

So, why do I blog? Well, way back when I started, it was apparently to avoid other responsibilities. Then, about a month later, I started publishing my blog so friends and family could keep up with me as we moved from Boonville to Greenwood. I began chronicling my mom's battle with cancer, crazy travel experiences, my on-and-off scrapping hobby and stuff going on with Zak and Aly. I also began to develop my blog into my own website with jokes, tips, links, etc.

More recently, I've posted my struggle with depression and my rekindled faith. I've also started to add more photos. What I love is that I can go back for almost 4 years now and see what was happening in our lives. I love to go back and read, and sometimes I use my blog to pinpoint when something happened or to journal for a scrapbook page. I suppose I use my blog as a diary, which is a little scary since anyone can read it. But I also know that I only have a handful of visitors, so why not share? I suppose even if no one visited, I'd still do it, but I'm happy you come anyway.

Yeah, I'm alive

Just not blogging so much.

The basement flooded over the weekend because of a burst pipe (outside at the garden hose, and YES we know to drain it in the winter. It was a complicated setup and I don't want to talk about it or you'll have to hear about me crabwalking 15 feet under the deck in 5 inches of freezing cold mud till my legs seized up and the kids had to pull me out) and we didn't know until the *appraiser* showed up (so much for a re-fi) and I had to leave my crop early to bail it out and Mike was out of town without a way home and I STILL have body aches. I already knew the drill, but this time, since it wasn't raining, finding the source and TURNING IT OFF was key. I love whomever invented the wet vac and my kids, who still love me even when I'm a freaked out, muddy mess.

See, I'm so out of sorts that I don't even care that was a massive run-on sentence.

I have blog posts swimming around in my head, but I never seem to get here to write them down. Most of them are musings on life that you only wish you could hear, I'm sure. Work has been busy, life has been busy and my margins only hold so much. I will say that there have been a couple of days when I fell into bed without my Bible study and prayer, and those were restless nights full of those dreams where you run the whole time and wake up feeling like you never slept at all. Not a good move. Don't do that again.

I'm keeping my facebook status up to date, so if anyone is out there (my counter says there are a couple of you), go check on me there. And if you haven't facebooked me, you ain't one of the cool kids (or you are a stalker, in which case, call me sometime and we'll do dinner).

Just making sure you read it till the end. Mwaahahaha.

Margins

Every third grader knows the importance of margins. You are learning to write and the teacher stresses how you need to have a margin on the right side of your paper. You are so conscious of margins that you start hyphenating any word that comes at the end of the line, even if it is only four letters long.

One of the classic lines in "A Christmas Story" is when Ralphie's teacher returns the Christmas themes to the class:

All right, class.
I have your Christmas themes for you.
I'm pleased.
In general, you did very well.
However, I was disappointed in the margins.

If you Google "margin", you get a lot of hits related to finanacial margins, which I know nothing about. But do click the Google link because it actually takes you to "let me Google that for you", a hilarious site that shows people who ask silly questions how to Google it for themselves. Sorry, focus. Back on track.

This past year, I became a certified Project Management Professional (PMP). One of the knowledge areas in Project Management is scheduling. A Schedule Margin is time that is built into your schedule with no planned activity. This goes right along with those paper margins, right? It is a buffer zone to handle the overflow, the unexpected.

So when was the last time you added margin to your life? I'll admit, I hadn't thought about this until it was covered in a book I've been reading. The chapter was "Love is not irritable" and it noted that we all must exercise emotional self-control and not overreact. Something I didn't realize is that delegation is biblical! In Exodus 18:13-24, Moses was up for days settling disputes for the people until his father-in-law came to him and told him to delegate. I've struggled to do this at work, but have recently become more successful. Maybe it is not that I'm better at delegating tasks, but I'm definitely better at not taking them on to begin with.

So, where can you add margin to your life? Do you take a day off each week to worship and rest? Do you have that buffer in your daily schedule to absorb the emergencies and keep your stress level manageable? Here are the places where I'm adding margin to my day, every day:
1. spending time with the kids. Maybe it is eating dinner together, or watching a TV show, but I make sure they have my full attention. They see that I'm making the effort to do something with them. I've found it means the most when it is something they like to do, like playing the Wii. I'm getting better at Mario Kart.
2. chatting with friends. Okay, so my friends live on my computer, but I check in with my scrapping friends and my Facebook friends daily, as well as keeping my status up to date on Twitter. I'm looking to find more friends IRL (in real life) too.
3. Bible study. Yes, I've been reading the Bible every single day since I committed to do so. Two nights I didn't ... once on vacation with Aly when we were up till midnight scrapping (and I had nightmares all night) and on New Year's Eve, again up past midnight (no nightmares ... I didn't forget to pray).
Other goals:
1. Scrapbook at least once each week for an hour. Aly usually joins me, and I chat with my online friends at the same time.
2. Exercise three times per week. This one has been harder. I know if I got into a routine, it would be easier, and this is where I need to focus on adding margin. I have to set aside that time where nothing can interrupt, nothing can take away, my workout time.
3. Have at least one pampering appointment (hair, pedicure, massage) per month. I haven't done this yet, but plan to start soon.

So think about your schedule, not just your work schedule, but your life. Where can you add margin? And what will you fill your margins with?

Unconditional Love

Love is not determined by the one being loved, but by the one choosing to love.

Selfless and unconditional love is also known as agape. It is not swayed by time or circumstance. God's love is this kind of love. Though we do not deserve it and do not always return it, He loves us.

Wow.

Love Believes the Best

I have always said that I am a positive person. I think of the glass as half-full. But I have realized that the voice of depression (or Satan, if you believe along those lines) has been coloring my belief in myself and in others.

My new mantra is to always believe the best. The key?

Do not fill the unknown with negative assumptions.