Ten Things Your Mom Never Told You

This meme(?) made its way around Facebook this week and I couldn't help but want to slightly change the wording here. 

My kids are 21 and 16, so I feel like I've got some great in(hind)sight to give you. 

Ten Things Your Mom Was Really Thinking 

(with apologies to HuffPost) 

(and my kids) 

1. You made her cry ... a lot. But mostly you gave her great fodder for Facebook. And blogs. And tweets.

2. She wanted that last piece of pie. So she waited for you to go to bed, then she ate it. There was ice cream too. 

3. It hurt. Especially without an epidural.  She never forgot that. 

4. She was always afraid. Of you entering a room without knocking. And that you'd find the ice cream. 

5. She knows she's not perfect. But she'll never stop correcting your grammar. 

6. She watched you as you slept. And she could tell when you were hiding your phone and faking it. 

7. She carried you a lot longer than nine months. Until she forced you to go to college and get your own damn place. 

8. It broke her heart every time you cried. Except that time you broke the living room ottoman with a body slam. You deserved those bruises. 

9. She put you first. On the list of why she drinks. 

10. She would do it all again. As long as there's ice cream.