Perpetual Motion

For decades, scientists have attempted to discover the secret of perpetual motion. Energy that continues on and on and on. At 8:00 this morning, I discovered the secret to perpetual motion. No, it was not a child hopped up on sugar. Not a dog who thinks she's going to see Nana. Here is the formula.

Take one escalator with an upward motion
Add one Tonya, lugging a suitcase to the Metro train
Mix in some high heeled boots and a laptop computer strapped to her body
and just a pinch of a newspaper clutched in her hands.

This is it!
Tonya (who has always been terrified of escalators) attempts to keep the ginormous suitcase on the step behind her so all the busy commuters can pass her on the left.
Said unwieldy suitcase sits unevenly on two steps and tips in a downward motion.
Tonya, clutching purse, newspaper and hampered by laptop computer is dragged in the indicated direction by the falling suitcase.
~~ NOTE: the Tonya factor is key here. Other, smarter people may have let go of the suitcase and watched it fall down the steps. By itself.

Here it is folks: perpetual motion. Tumbling down a staircase that never ends.

ETA: I found a picture, to help with your imagination.


I heard the crowd gasp, but (and here's my sly social commentary on the state of the world today and most folks' self-centeredness) NOT ONE of my fellow commuters stopped to help. It was the two folks who stand at the Metro entrance passing out free newspapers who came to hold my head off the steps and, once my less-than-dignified ride to the top was complete, assisted me with standing. Michelle, bless her heart, drug the suitcase over, sat me down on it and dug through her pockets for coffee shop napkins to dry my tears. Oh yes, tears. Because falling down metal stairs hurts, not just your pride, but your knees.

Trouper that I am, I paused only a few minutes before boarding the train (I took the elevator down to the train). By the time I stopped at a restroom, the blood had nearly dried and two large goose eggs had appeared-one on each knee. The nurse at the office later proclaimed that I needed xrays and would definitely have some nasty bruises tomorrow. I took photos. This is something for the scrapbook. Or the lawsuit.

Mike, of course, is used to my clumsiness. I texted him to let him know I had wiped out and he immediately called me to check in. His supportive comment? "Just think of all those people who have a really cool story to tell at work this morning. Don't worry, they don't know who you are." Yes, dear. Thanks. It'll be "Hey, you won't believe this idiot who wiped out on the escalator this morning!" Later when I explained the whole incident, he exclaimed "You fell UP the stairs. UP the stairs! Only you, Pook, only you."

I did make it through the whole day, though, and all the way back to Indiana. Just a few minutes with my sister and my knees were feeling better already. I hope the feeling lasts. I think the nurse was right. I'll have some colorful legs tomorrow.

Just another travel story from the files of Tonya.