Random Thoughts
1. Men are like slinkies....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
2. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think. "Well, that's not going to happen."
3. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
4. The other night I ate at a really nice family restruant. Every table had an argument going on.
5. Have you noticed that since everyone has a camcorder in the car these days, no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?
6. You know when you are sitting in a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
7. According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents.
11. I'm not 40-something, I'm $39.95 plus shipping and handling.
12. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
13. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resembleance to the first.
14. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states this has already happened.
15. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes the whole box to start a campfire?
16. Doctors can be frustrating! You wait a month and a half for an appointment and he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."
17. You read about all those terrorists... most of them came here legally, but they hung around on those expired visas, some as long as 10-15 years. Now compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!
18. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
I've added some code to the left side of my blog that displays a random siglet. A siglet is a cute little saying you attach to your email signature. Ever changing random thoughts, automatically.
Here are more randoms, with a religious slant.
1.Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2.Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3.A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comm-- but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? -- Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you, controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.
And, the Zen version:
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Drive way too fast and don't worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
2. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think. "Well, that's not going to happen."
3. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
4. The other night I ate at a really nice family restruant. Every table had an argument going on.
5. Have you noticed that since everyone has a camcorder in the car these days, no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?
6. You know when you are sitting in a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
7. According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents.
11. I'm not 40-something, I'm $39.95 plus shipping and handling.
12. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
13. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resembleance to the first.
14. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states this has already happened.
15. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes the whole box to start a campfire?
16. Doctors can be frustrating! You wait a month and a half for an appointment and he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."
17. You read about all those terrorists... most of them came here legally, but they hung around on those expired visas, some as long as 10-15 years. Now compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!
18. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
I've added some code to the left side of my blog that displays a random siglet. A siglet is a cute little saying you attach to your email signature. Ever changing random thoughts, automatically.
Here are more randoms, with a religious slant.
1.Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2.Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3.A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comm-- but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? -- Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you, controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.
And, the Zen version:
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Drive way too fast and don't worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Labels: giggles
posted by Tonya at
2:05 PM
My 
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home