If you are flying tomorrow . . .

let me just give you a few pointers:

1. If your bag is the size of my 11 year old son, it is not going to fit in the overhead compartment. Do not shove, do not squoosh, and do NOT argue with the flight attendant. You will not win.

2. If you are in 42D, do NOT put your bag in the bin over row 12. When the front bins fill up, I have to truck to the back, find a bin and swim back upstream to my seat.

3. If you are on the aisle seat, wait to put your seat belt on until everyone boards. I like the window seat, and I also like to be last on the plane. And, when the flight is mostly full, there is no way you are going to have the whole exit row to yourself.

4. If you are sitting in the aisle seat and I say, "Hi, I'm by the window," do not look disgusted. Do not take forever folding your newspaper and unbuckling your seat belt (see #3). Do acknowledge my presence. But, definitely do not shuffle your feet to the side and expect me to crawl over the top of you. Even if it is the exit row.

5. When the plane is full and you have a middle seat, lose the attitude. Believe me, if I could find a roomier place to put you, I would. We're going to be pretty close for the duration of the flight, so be sure you've performed all of the daily hygiene rituals we've come to expect.

6. Speaking of the middle seat, what makes you think you get the armrests for the entire flight? I learned to share as a toddler, didn't you? And yes, I DO have the window. That is because I booked early.

7. I do not want to read your book. I do not want to see your computer screen. There's no need to contort yourself to shield them from me. Your secrets are safe. Something tells me that people in charge of matters of national security aren't flying coach. On US Air.

8. If you know you snore, do not plan on taking a nap. Ask my sister what I do to roomies who snore.

9. When you are done with your newspaper, offer it to others. It is called recycling. Plus, I'm cheap. We are in coach class.

and last...
10. Wait to fire up your cell phone until you hit the terminal. Yes, you must be very important to have people waiting on you, but they can wait another 3 minutes until you get inside. WE all know you just landed and the flight was bumpy and you are in a rush. We were there.