Somebody get a map. And a calculator.

I know it has been a while since I blogged. I have a bunch of stuff drafted that I haven't finished. But this you need to hear while it is fresh in my mind.

First off, someone go get a to-scale map of the Detroit airport (that is DTW). If you are reading this, you know how to Google. Go on.

I haven't had to travel for work in nearly six weeks. I had a marvelous two week vacation (some of those posts I haven't finished), but I left Tuesday for DC. Well, you have to know there's going to be a travel story now. There always is, isn't there?

If you don't have a calculator on your desk, there's one on your "start" button, under accessories. Get that fired up. Oh you know you want to. Do it.

My original flight Tuesday was supposed to leave at 11 am. At 9am, just before I was going to finish packing for the airport, I got a phone call that my flight was canceled, but I had been booked on the next available flight ... at 1:45pm. Super. Now instead of getting in around 5 (ET), it would be 9pm. Well, so I got a little more work done before I left.

Okay, I know at least one of you is wondering what to do with the map. Find gate C66. Now find B16. Figure out how far it is from C66 to B16. In miles. It had to be miles. It FELT like miles. Make sure you add in the distance of the tunnel between Terminal C and B. The one with the freaky new age music and flashing lights that could trigger epilepsy.

My flight through Cincy was uneventful, though my three hour wait could have been a little more pleasant. But then I arrived in DC an hour later than expected. There was no gate available. So we sat on the tarmac. In a severe lightning storm. In a giant metal tube. It was pretty though. Giant ribbons of lightning striking all around. Ground crew running for cover. Fun times.

Okay, let's Google some more. How many calories might one burn if one JOGGED that distance from C66 to B16?
Carrying a laptop bag (with laptop, power cord, mouse, iPod, Blackberry, cell phone, purse, wallet, book.... You get it. Add "carrying 23 lbs" to your calculations.)
Dragging a suitcase. (My NEW suitcase because Delta BROKE my other one. This one has a wonky wheel. It doesn't drive straight. It crashes into people. It runs over my toes.)
In flip flops. You know, because they are more comfortable than dress shoes. I should have went with the Reeboks.
Oh, and I was out of paper in the home office so add a ream of paper to the weight of the suitcase (so the firm wouldn't have to pay Office Depot to deliver). We gotta be up to 58 lbs now.

Before I left for the airport this afternoon, coworkers started IMing and calling me to tell me that there was a power outage at Washington Reagan. That can't be good. But the CNN story said backup power was allowing folks through security and planes to take off. By the time I got there (very speedily, I might add. The cab driver did 85 mph on the GW Parkway), the power was on, the security lines weren't so bad, and McDonald's was back to making chicken sandwiches. The planes were backed up though, and we left about an hour late.

Shout out to my online friend Lala for inspiring me to start walking. Otherwise, I never would have made it from C66 to B16 in less than 15 minutes. Oh, and I got quite a few neck stretches in, looking at the departure boards every time I sped past. Evansville was blinking "BOARDING" the whole way. I was sweating my a$$ off {{Yes, Patricia, because I was wearing PANTS. Not a skirt. PANTS.), but I was going to make it! And get a workout!

Now, the plane to Detroit was completely full. Every seat was filled. And I was in row 25. In the middle seat. Hey, I had a book to read. And, they had those cool touch screens in the seat back in front of me. But it had no sound. So I made a playlist of Fleetwood Mac, Michael Jackson and Lady Gaga. Then I read my book. Until the pilot announced that Detroit was having storms so we'd be circling for a while. But not too long, because we were almost out of gas, so we might take a side trip to Cleveland. Hey, I was just there! (another unfinished blog post)

By now you must have figured out I missed the connection in Detroit. I got to B16 to see them pushing the plane from the gate. And the screen still flashed "BOARDING". (Seriously. There were SIX of us on delayed flights. They couldn't have delayed the Evansville flight for FIFTEEN MINUTES?!??! At least update the status so I could have strolled from gate C66.) How many calories did I burn? I hope it is enough to offset the chicken fingers, french fries and chocolate cake I just ordered from room service.

But all is well that ends well, right? I work for a great firm that found me a hotel within a mile of the airport with a free shuttle. Free wi-fi. Fridge and microwave. And, of course, the aforementioned room service. The client will reimburse for the hotel and an extra day of food ... even if they didn't, the firm would pick it up.

So here I am, showered, in my jammies, blogging, watching The Learning Channel (why do you have ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN U, ESPN Classic but no Discovery, Syfy, A&E, or Biography?), sipping Diet Coke, and about to inhale a giant piece of chocolate cake. I've got the USA Today, my book, and my iPod.

I have to spend time traveling tomorrow, but then I'm taking the rest of the day off to play with my kids.

Life is good.