Diary of a voter

Some of my favorite email forwards are the ones that follow the progress of a descent into madness via a diary. The dog vs. cat is a hoot, and the one about the snow shoveler is classic. PastaQueen has a post about her experience voting early this year. Here's mine:

8:36 am -- left the house for my morning jog (no, not my EVERY morning jog, but hey, I'm still doing it after a week, so there). I took my ID just in case the lines, which had been broadcast as hours long on Good Morning America this morning, weren't around the block yet. I think the school is about a mile from the house.
8:37 am -- hey I'm getting better at jogging. I'm a block away and still breathing through my nose.
8:40 am -- three blocks ::gasp:: switch to walking
8:48 am -- arrive at the school. Not a line in sight. Accosted by overly enthusiastic tweenagers handing out 'sample ballots.' Seriously? If you can read this piece of paper, you can read the real ballot. By the tone of the "HA HA" I heard as I walked away with Republican literature, I'd say the Democrats were not showing up at this particular polling station yet.
8:49 am -- mmmm, donuts and coffee! Wait, that's a Democratic donut! Nevermind.
Only three people in line. This shouldn't be hard.
8:50 am -- Not only do I have my driver's license, I actually brought my voter registration card. Very officially state my full name and address, which is repeated in a robotic manner between the two ladies at the table. Wait, what does that "H" mean next to my name on the voter page? I need to show a federal id? Why? We banter. We pause. We call over the supervisor. Did I bring a military ID? I'm not IN the military! Do I have my Social Security card? Not on me! We are at an impasse. I volunteer to jog the mile back home to get my VA id card.
8:52 am -- Well, maybe I'll walk back home.
8:54 am -- ok, so if I walk all the way back home and back to the school and home again, I might die. Maybe I'll drive back to the school.
9:00 am -- no wonder the jog started out so well. It was slightly downhill. That makes the return trek very uphill.
9:06 am -- I usually leave the house via the driveway to the sidewalk. I usually return by cutting across the front yard to save those extra 32 steps. Today, I use the neighbor's driveway to cut it even shorter.
9:07 am -- water ... need water. Remove sweatshirt. I am stinky. Begin search for ID.
9:14 am -- ID is not in any purse, backpack or computer bag. Note to self: bottom of closet needs to be organized again.
9:19 am -- ID is no where on my desk, which is now, out of necessity, straightened. The good news is that I get to mark that off of my to-do list.
9:20 am -- Now I'm worried. Not that I can't vote, but that I've lost my ID. Where could it be?
9:21 am -- call Mike's cell phone to ask Aly to look in my suitcase
9:22 am -- Suitcase is already packed. Commence meltdown.
9:29 am -- recover from meltdown. Wash face.
9:30 am -- grab Social Security card and keys with the excuse that I can measure how far I actually ran this morning on the odometer. I still stink. I don't care.
9:32 am -- still no line. The Republicans have a snack table now. No coffee, only soda. The ladies at the voting table remember me. Less robotic, "Oh hon, you left too soon. We looked it up in the book and your driver's license was fine."
9:35 am -- I voted!
9:38 am -- home. It's not a mile. Only 6/10ths.